Sex in hostels… it’s something many of us may or may not have had to overhear, engage in or question when travelling around the world and staying in dorms!
Backpacker – definition 1; budget traveler using hostels and seeking new cultural / exotic experiences
Backpacker – definition 2; raging hormones on legs seeking new cultural / erotic conquests
Backpackers are a strange breed of people. They set off from home telling their worried parents that they’re venturing out to “find themselves” and to experience cultures around the world. Okay, so they might start off that way, but all those good intentions of helping out in a Cambodian orphanage a la Angelina Jolie quickly disappear as the urge to experience sex with someone from a different culture takes over.
The problem for backpackers is that they focus on spending their money on having fun but they don’t like to pay much for a place to sleep. Meaning that for about a year they’re sharing their nights with several other people sleeping nearby. This is fine until you want to have sex. Some backpackers are more than happy to let their new room mates hear every sordid whimper and moan of their latest conquest who drunkenly came back to share their bed. And nearly every backpacker who has stayed in a dorm room will either have had sex when other people were in the room or worse have heard people have sex! Mind you, a couple having sex in either the bunk above or below can sometimes help rock you gently to sleep so there’s always a plus side!
Most of the traveling youth do however prefer a little bit of privacy and finding somewhere to indulge in a discreet bit of humping can be tricky. When you’re staying in a backpackers hostel there are a few quiet areas that can be found if you know where to look.
1. TV Lounges
TV lounges are popular places to hook up and often have nice comfy couches or beanbags which are a bit more comfortable than toilets. Just watch out for security cameras though, they’re quite often found in TV lounges so this location may not be as discreet as you’d like it to be. (If the night reception staff give you a knowing smirk as you pass by, at least you know why.) And of course, it’s always best to avoid this location whilst other people are watching the TV.
Con – This is actually quite an unpleasant place to have sex for other people. Do you really want to plonk yourself down on a beanbag to watch TV and wonder what that stain is?
2. The Toilet
The obvious place is the loo. Toilets generally have that magical thing called a lock so when you’re doing the dirty you can be guaranteed that no-one will walk in on you.
Con – The only downside of this one is that it’s the toilet.
3. The Laundry Room
A better smelling place to woo your new-found loved one is the hostels linen room. Freshly cleaned linen and towels are a nicer, softer and more pleasant smelling place to fool around than in a toilet. If you want to be nice to your fellow travellers though just use the room itself rather than all those nice clean sheets which other people will have to sleep on!
Pro – You can do your washing at the same time and take advantage of the potential fun to be had with it switched on!
4. The Roof
A great, and underused, place is the hostels roof. Many hostels have a rooftop chill-out area, try borrowing the master key from staff! If not (and it’s not a tall building) one way of getting up there is by climbing a tree or drainpipe. And your Swedish lovely may find it very romantic to be under the stars whilst getting to know you better.
Con – This is not always the safest of options however especially if the building is really tall or if you’ve had a few drinks before trying to climb up there!
5. Your Own Dorm Bed
Ok so I know I started off by saying no-one wants to hear you have sex, but if you wait until everyones gone out for the day then where’s the harm? If you’re in the bottom bunk then drape a sarong so that you have some privacy if someone decides to pop in!
Con – Whatever time of day it is, when you’re in a dorm you risk people coming and going. Someone might have forgotten their camera, a new person might be checking in, the maintenance guy might be coming to investigate the strange noises emanating the room…
6. A Private Room!
Of course the best place to find privacy is a private room! If you really don’t want to fork out the little bit extra for a room with only one bed in it, then you should consider a night of passion with one of the hostels staff members! Either they’ll sneakily open up an empty double room at the hostel you’re staying at, or you could bunk up with them in their own bed in the suburbs… (Locals are also a good one for this!).
Top Tip – It’s always worth asking reception if they’ll do you a deal on a private room. If it’s late and they’re not expecting any check-ins you can sometimes get a good price. And isn’t that worth it for a night of privacy with your new-found love?
Wherever you end up doing it, always make sure you’re safe and please don’t break the law!
Disclaimer: If you do end up using one of the aforementioned places to have sex in a hostel be aware that you might get thrown out!
What location in a backpackers hostel is your all time favourite place to have sex?